J-Man has had a fear of water for several years. Ironically enough, it was during free play after a swim class a few years ago, he nearly drowned. He and some other kids from class were playing near a rope divider. The rope was at his waist. He was teetering back and forth over it being careful not to go too far to flip over the rope. (He didn't like water on his face) He somehow got into a position with his head under water, his feet partially out of water with the rope still at his waist. He couldn't flip himself over the rope to come up for air and the lifeguards didn't seem to notice him in trouble. After watching his body squirm for what felt like a lifetime, I dropped my video camera and trudged into the water for a quick rescue. After a little coughing and sputtering he was fine. He wasn't under water long enough to need resuscitation or anything of the like but it was still very scary. Needless to say, it was an emotional event for both of us. Ever since then, he's had a great fear of swimming pools.
Last year he wouldn't get near the water. I literally couldn't drag him near the pool house so forget getting INTO the water. This year however has been slightly better. The first day of class he sat on the side of the pool with feet dangling but wouldn't do anything else. This alone took lots of coaxing. The following day was a TREMENDOUS improvement. He got into the water, did as the instructors asked but I had to be nearby and watch EVERYTHING. By the end of the first week, he was in the water and even trying to go under and jumping in the shallow end. What a difference a week makes.
Here's a few of the strategies I used to turn J-Man into a willing swimming lesson participant.
- Talk about it A LOT! We've talked about swimming lessons since before the pool opened this summer. We talk about it during dinner, on the way to Tae Kwon Do, while riding bikes, anytime he's in a chatty mood. I try not to make into a big ordeal so he's not overwhelmed but at the same time is fully aware of what to expect.
- Mark the calendar. As soon as I received the dates for his lessons, the calendar has been marked so J-Man has a visual time line. This helps him prepare himself with a visual countdown to the big day.
- Bargain, Bargain, Bargain. I want him to actively and willingly participate in swimming lessons so it's fair to give him something he wants in return. We've negotiated for small daily treats costing less than $1.00 as well as a weekly treat (movie rental) and a slightly bigger treat for when he completes the 2 week course (new video game). I repeat our bargain many times throughout the week-not just on the way to class.
- Boost his confidence. I try to use ego boosting phrases whenever he starts to complain or say he's afraid of drowning. "You're so brave when you try to do something that scares you" "I'm afraid of drowning too but that's why I learned to swim-so I could be smart in the water" "You're doing a great job with everything so far, so I'm sure you'll be great at this if you just TRY" "All I ask is for you to TRY what you teacher asks. Your teacher will help you and with practice you'll get even better." "Nobody does it perfect the first time they try anything so keep up the great work."
- Express my gratitude and pride. I tell him how proud of him I am after each class and throughout the rest of the day. During class, I'll give him thumbs up or clap when he looks over at me. I always tell him thank you for being cooperative.
What's your method to getting cooperation from an unwilling participant?
1 Smart Sayings:
We talk about it a lot, sometimes I bribe, which I know is a terrible idea. But it usually works when all else fails. ;-)
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